please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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