Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize