i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
