Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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