So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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