We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
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