okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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