He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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