never play flip cup with pint glasses
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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