I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I am mentally ready for anal.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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