If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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