Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
