90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
