No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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