Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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