so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
