we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
