First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
