Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I got inside last night via doggy door
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
