I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
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