our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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