I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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