I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
