it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
