I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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