Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
