Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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