We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
