I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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