Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
