i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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