first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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