Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
