Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
this hospital has no fireball
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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