Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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