508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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