What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
