Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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