You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
