I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We talked him into tasing himself.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
