Cold hands, warm shart.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
