i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize