im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
