Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
