I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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