Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.

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(330): View more from Ohio

That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.

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(301): View more from Maryland

you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.

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(207): View more from Maine

He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.

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(916): View more from California

Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.

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(512): View more from Texas

Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"

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(917): View more from New York City

I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.

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