she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize