I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
