Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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