I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
i think i just lost a toe
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
