I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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