Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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