You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
