When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
