i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
