dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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