Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Who put my cat in the fridge?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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