I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize