I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
