BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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