Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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