if i can run in heels then i can drive
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
