Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
