after a month anything with tits is on the radar
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
When did angry sex become our thing?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
