using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
