I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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