I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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