well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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