giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
