It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
well you can't waste a boner
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
