I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
