you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I forget how to act sober
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
