I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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